These days, the question isn’t so much what you should say to a guy as how you should say it: via phone, text, or email? It may seem like they’re all pretty much a good idea, but the truth of the matter is that there is a time and a place for each of those modes of communication. As that can all be more than a little confusing, we’ve compiled a list of possible scenarios and which communication mode is most appropriate for each. Why didn’t we include instant messenger? Because there’s really nothing that should be said over IM.
Scenario 1: You and Tim hit it off at a party last night, and today he texts you with a simple, “Hey, how’s it going?” You sort of wish that he would have called, but how do you answer him back to show that you’re interested now that he’s sent you a vague message?
Answer: Text. A real man would have called, and you don’t want to suddenly put the ball in his court by calling him and showing that you are willing to put in lots of effort for minimal effort on his part. Text him back with a simple response, but don’t keep answering the texts if he doesn’t make plans. Tell him that you have to go, but that you can be reached if he calls you.
Scenario 2: You made plans with John a few days ago, but now it’s Saturday morning and you aren’t feeling so hot. You could go out, but would he really want you sneezing all over him? It’s one of those nights where you just need to clear your calendar, put on your fuzzy slippers, and break out the Ben & Jerry’s.
Answer Phone. Way too many people make the mistake of texting or emailing when the cancel plans, but there’s no guarantee that your message will arrive in time to prevent him from showing up at your door at the predetermined time. Plus, it sucks to have to change your plans around at the last minute-- give him the benefit of a call to let him hear how sick you are.
Scenario 3: Your Ex sends you an email acknowledging everything that he did wrong in your relationship together and promising he’ll do everything right if you just give him one more chance. You’re tempted to consider his offer, but your relationship ended pretty badly and you’d rather just stay single and wait for Mr. Right to come along.
Answer Email. It’s a good idea to keep some distance in this situation, especially if you are concerned that your feelings might sway you the wrong way if you talk to him on the phone or meet up with him in person. Briefly and clearly state how you feel, and then leave the past behind you.
Scenario 4: You’re eating dinner with this guy you’re dating when your best friend texts you and tells you that she just had the worst night ever. You want to check in with her to make sure that she’s okay, but you also don’t want your guy to think you’re being rude.
Answer Phone. Excuse yourself from the table, and quickly call your friend some place where your conversation won’t disturb anyone. You’ll be able to get the info you need much quicker than if you texted her, and you can let her know that now isn’t a good time. There’s nothing worse than a table-texter!
