So you’ve come to that fork in the road where you have to choose between either working it out or ending things, and you’re ready to go with the latter option. First of all, congratulations. This is the first step toward a relationship with someone who doesn’t make you constantly ask yourself, “Is there something better out there?” Now the bottom line is that breaking up sucks, and there’s really nothing that can change the fact that it does. That being said, there are certain things you can do to make sure that the break up happens as smoothly as possible, and that begins with the actual break up conversa
Don’t waste time. Waiting for “the perfect time” and/or beating around the bush is going to get you nowhere. Once you’ve made up your mind, set a time to talk to your partner and stick to it. Dragging things out or waiting to see if things will get better is just going to make you more miserable. Breaking up is like pulling off a band aid: it hurts to do it quickly, but it’s much less painful than doing it slooooowly.
Don’t use anything other than a face-to-face interaction. Repeat after me: do not break up with anyone via phone, text, email, or-- god forbid-- instant messenger, unless that person lives in Antartica and there is no other way to contact them. If you care even one bit about this person, you will break up with them face-to-face as one last gesture of respect.
Don’t crack jokes. You may want to lighten the mood if things are feeling really heavy, but this is no time for making light of the situation. Doing so will just make him feel like you don’t care about your relationship or his feelings, and you’ll come across looking like a jerk.
Don’t leave any loose ends. It may be tempting to say something along the lines of “I hope we can still be friends” or “maybe this will work out someday, but not right now,” but that is just asking for a messy breakup that gives neither of you resolution. You don’t want to leave the door open for one of those on-again off-again relationships that never seems to end and finally spirals out of control. And asking your significant other to immediately consider being “just friends” is not acknowledging the feelings of hurt and pain he’s probably feeling. These sentiments are better left unsaid.
Be a good listener. You’ve said your piece, and now it’s time for your to listen up. You can’t expect to just go in, tell this person that it’s over, and then head off on your merry way. Be prepared to answer questions, give clarification, and be a good listener. If you’ve talked for a while and he’s still demanding a better explanation, it may be time to say that you’d be happy to clarify anything you’ve said but you think that maybe it’s time for the two of you to go and cool off.
wow thank you for the advice i will use it for sure. I was actually going to use the “let’s just b friends” but now u got me thinking . I was only going to say that because we have the same friends and if i don’t i think is gonna be weird hanging out in the same room as him. Can you give me a advice about that?