When you start asking a man hypotheticals, you strike fear in his heart.
“What if I was 85, incontinent, had one lazy eye and chronic halitosis? Would you still love me?”
“What if I was in a coma and could hear everything you’re saying but you didn’t know it, and my sister, who you haven’t met yet, just won America’s Next Top Model, and the doctors said they don’t know if I’m ever coming out of it – how long would you wait before dating my sister?”
Do you know what men fear more than commitment? The crystal ball. If you break that bad boy out, he’ll tremble like you did at a slumber party back in junior high with your friends after way too much chocolate and a spin with a Ouija board.
Just like in a job interview, guys don’t like the question: “Where do you see yourself in five years?” (let alone fifty!). Although many do have goals (win the Heisman by 21, make first million by 25, host SNL by 30), they’re usually personal and individual. They don’t plan much past breakfast, except maybe lunch. If it’s early in the relationship, too many questions about the future, especially what-if scenarios that suggest a shift from your current situation, imply a lack of trust. If you want to ask him about the future, stick to sci-fi.
That being said, questions about the future will come up at some point in your relationship. If the two of you have been serious for quite some time and he’s still avoiding your not-so-out-there inquiries (i.e., “We’ve been together for four years-- maybe we should consider becoming exclusive?") it may be time to reevaluate and move on.
By the way, the correct answer to the first question at the beginning of this article is, of course, “yes” because he’ll be banking on the fact women live longer than men. Question two was a trick question. The proper answer is “I would never date your sister, and I’d be spending all my time in med school, then in research, finding your cure myself.”
Be sure to check out more of Mike’s blog, “Do I Amuse You?”
Image by Napalm filled tires
3 Comments
Mike, I went on a first date and made every faux pas you could imagine. He picked me up at home, I let him in, he used my bathroom (now I know why) and took his glass to my kitchen. When he didn’t call for a second date, I found your book and wished I had read it before the date. When you described his type in your book, you were spot on - as a keeper. He also didn’t say much, didn’t extend the date, and I let him smooch me on the lips, but did not let him come back in. He promised to definitely call me and I believed him. It has been nearly two weeks. I’m laughing now, because you were spot on and boy am I ready for the next first date....
I will bookmark your article for future use. It was very interesting and informative. Thank you.
Have a nice day and continue working in the same way! 
I love it! Thanks Mike...love the fact you are writing for sassybean’s sassy site. keep the articles coming!