Money Makeover Tip: Are You A Compulsive Shopper?
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April 14, 2008 @ 12:00 am
Do you have the “urge to splurge? Are you spending to make yourself feel good?
All compulsive shoppers are fully aware of the crazy anxiety “the urge” that comes moments before the shopping begins, the frenzy of buying and the fleeting “high” that comes and then disappears to leave you feeling empty. The following tips are meant to put an end to impulsive shopping and a beginning to taking care of yourself. Impulsive spending is defined as giving into that “urge to splurge” so that you are unable to save money for things that are important to you whether that be rent, a home, vacation, car etc. and/or putting yourself into credit card and other debt.
• Don’t try to “buy happiness” with money and spending. After making a compulsive purchase, we have a “high”. Think through the compulsive purchase and remember that the “high” is very temporary, very fleeting. After a few minutes or an hour at most the “high” wears off… leaving you with an empty feeling.
• Do other things when that compulsive feeling to shop starts!! Its as simple as sitting down and feeling the feelings. Sometimes we shop because we are anxious, afraid, angry, lonely, misunderstood. Feel those feelings.. they are not going to hurt you. And distract yourself in another way… make yourself feel good by getting a manicure/pedicure, taking a walk, lighting a candle, putting on calming music, or going for a run or what works for me always is taking a hot bubble bath. Calming that compulsive feeling down and taking care of yourself and making yourself feel good in other ways is key. Or if calming activities don’t do it for you and you thrive on that “high”, get that “high” from other activities: playing tennis, doing a marathon, kite jumping, skiing You will feel much better!!
• Leave your credit cards at home! Carry cash everywhere. Yes I mean everywhere. I do. When you have cash in your purse and am going to make a purchase of $300 for a dress, counting out the cash allows you to feel and see how much money you are actually spending. Do this a few times and you will think twice before spending crazy amounts.
• Throw away your “attitude of entitlement.” Get over it… you are not entitled to buy everything in the store, a purse in every color, five dresses for an evening out. This is just a way that you convince yourself that overspending and compulsive spending is ok. Yes you do deserve and will have abundance in your life.. but entitlement and abundance are very different. The attitude of give me everything now in entitlement is destructive to your self. The humbling attitude of I give wonderful things to myself to take care of myself and look out for my own best interest and thrive in peace, harmony, wealth, health, friendship, love and happiness is the later.
• Learn to recognize need and wants. If you see something you “have to have”, write it down instead of purchasing it and put it on a bulletin board. If you see another thing you “have to have”, write that down too. Put all the “have to haves” on the bullet board in order of how badly you have to have them… but the rule is, there can only be 5 have to haves on the board at any one time.. if something stays on the board for a few weeks and is write up front and you can afford it without racking up unsecured debt then treat yourself!!! We do this to allow a “cooling off” period from the “have to have” so you can calmly and rationally decide it you would like to make that purchase. You might be surprised to see a lot of “have to haves” fading away!!
• Don’t purchase something you simply cannot afford and/or will put you into unsecured debt. You will be able to have the things that are important to you by outlining a spending plan.
• Shop with a list. Knowing what you are at the store to buy gives you focus and you will find yourself less likely to “pick up” extra items!
• Get honest with yourself. Ask your honestly why do I spend the way I do.. why do I buy things compulsively.. what feelings are behind it. What am I anxious about, why am I afraid, afraid of what, am I angry, am I loney, am I bored… go through each one and be honest with yourself. Until we can accept what we are doing and we cannot change. Write it out… I am spending a lot because…. (I am afraid my husband will leave me… I am not a good mother… I will never find a boyfriend.. I will fail at the office.. I will fail at school.. I wont get into business school.. etc) Look at it…
• Impulsive spending can put a strain on your finances, your relationships, your self-esteem, and can throw you out of emotional balance. Thinking purchases through and adhering to a spending plan that allows you to save for things that are important to you increases your self-respect and self-esteem!!
