News flash: when it comes to dating, guys like to chase the women they find attractive. It’s the thrill of the hunt. It sounds backwards and sexist, but it’s true, and if you want to learn to navigate the world of men, you’d do best to learn the Secrets of the Boys Club. Here are a few to keep in mind:
He Likes it When You Are Your Own Woman. Dependency is not sexy. There’s no need to rub it in his face, but make sure that he knows that you would be perfectly fine without him. Show, don’t tell him-- display your confidence and individuality even after the two of you get into a relationship.
He Loves It When You Are Confident. Insecurity is a huge turn-off. The hottest women are the ones who look good and know it.
He Hates It When You Call Him. When you first start dating a guy, take your mother’s old-fashioned advice and don’t call him. If he is thinking about you, he’ll call you, and if you beat him to the punch you’ll ruin the thrill of the chase.
To Make Him Stick Around, Make Him Wait. If you give it all away on the first date, he’ll lose interest. As tempting as it may be, move slowly when it comes to physical stuff. Need a clearer rule? Don’t sleep with him until three months into the relationship.
He Secretly Loves It When You Are Unavailable. If he asks you out, tell him that you’re busy that night (whenever it is) and suggest another night, unless he calls you more than three days in advance. If you make him understand that you have a life straight off the bat, you’ll be less likely to come across as that over-eager, super-available, desperate girl.
If He Gets Intimidated, Move On. You need someone in your life who understands that you are a sexy, brilliant, beautiful woman who is going places in this world. If he ever makes you feel like less than that because of his own insecurities, dump him. Compromise your integrity once, and you’re setting yourself up for a world of heartbreak down the line.
For more of Matt and Tamsen’s dating advice, check out their new book, “Why Hasn’t He Called?”
Just wanted to say thanks for all the great advice. I saw you on the Tyra Show yesterday and you really opened my eyes. It’s so easy to forget when you’re in a relationship that you still need to act independant. I have a hard time figuring out how to handle myself sometimes. I’m in a relationship with someone I’ve known for...11 years and actually dated in high school. He’s the love of my life and I’m so glad we’re together - but he travels so much now. I feel like the only him I know is that guy from back when. A year in and we love eachother (truely) but sometimes I don’t really feel like I know him NOW - I know him then. Anyhow, I just wanted to say thanks. I’m sure you’re advice will prove very helpful.