What is it about bad boys that drive us crazy? You know who I’m talking about: that guy with that tattoos and the motorcycle, the guy who consistently chooses his guitar over his girl, the guy who all your friends hate but just so happens to be so incredibly hot. These bad boys play with our minds, break our hearts, drive our friends and family insane, and what do we do? We keep coming back for more.
So what’s up with that? Are we just masochists, or is there something else going on here? Sassy Bean’s relationship guru Matt Titus thinks the phenomena has more to do with our needs to fix things than a desire to be bad to ourselves. “It’s that maternal instinct, that need to make things better,” says Titus. “It’s far more likely to come out around a bad boy because this is a guy who needs a lot of fixing.”
But just because your knee-jerk reaction is to take care of the bad boy, that doesn’t mean you should stick around to see if he gets better. “Don’t waste your time with a fixer-upper,” says Titus. “He’s never going to change, and the sooner you realize that, the sooner you can move on to someone who is on top of his game.”
In other words, there’s nothing wrong with an occasional dip in Bad Boy Pool, but if you find yourself constantly seeking out these types, you need to do some serious introspection. Use these guidelines for help:
-Realize that he’s never going to change. Say it with me now: HE’S NEVER GOING TO CHANGE. Sure, there may be moments when it looks like he’s going to change, or he says he’s going to change, but believe me-- it’s never going to happen. The sooner you can accept this, the sooner you can move on to rewarding relationships with people who aren’t complete losers.
-Believe that you’re good enough for a real man. Far too often, women settle for what they think they can get instead of what they actually want because they don’t believe they deserve someone who can meet all of their needs. Snap out of it! You are a fabulous female with way too much to offer this world, and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise (including yourself). If you can’t quite accept that yet, then at least PRETEND to accept it and act accordingly-- you’ll see your life change for the better.
-Reconsider the nice guy. You may find nice guys boring, but they may also be kind, generous, caring, stable-- in other words, everything that the bad boy isn’t. Besides, do you really want to spend your life dealing with someone who needs constant supervision? You are a woman, not a babysitter.
-When in doubt, seek help. If you are particularly unhappy with your dating situation and have no idea why you keep loving the wrong idea, it’s probably a good idea to get some professional counseling to help you out. There’s also a big difference between the bad boy who is bad because he’s not someone who you’d bring home to your parents, and the bad boy who is bad because he hurts animals. If you’ve been seeing the latter, get out of there as fast as you can and ask your friends, family, and medical professionals to help you.
2 Comments
what if he’s not the bad he just grew up in a family like they don’t care could they change
Just to clarify, sometimes “bad boys” are not overtly obvious. They may even call themselves “nice guys"… I am not weary of anyone that classifies themselves as such.