The Do’s And Don’ts Of Long Distance Relationships
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July 06, 2008 @ 12:00 am
With global travel becoming commonplace and new technologies to keep us connected constantly being invented, long distance relationships are becoming more popular than ever. But how can you keep your relationship afloat without seeing your loved one on a daily or, gulp, even monthly basis? It’s helpful to keep a few Do’s and Don’ts in mind:
Do Set Ground Rules. Being clear about the expectations you have for one another will lead to fewer misunderstandings down the line. In addition to whether or not you will see other people while the two of you are apart, be sure to talk about how often you expect to communicate and when you will find time to see each other. When you know you’re on the same page, there’s no excuse for breaking the rules that you both worked on before the separation.
Do Get A Life. If you want to stay sane while you’re away from your one and only, you have to stay busy, which means making sure you continue to lead your own independent life. Focus even more energy on fostering friendships and climbing the career ladder-- being away from your man won’t sting so badly, and you’ll have something to discuss with him other than how much you miss each other.
Do Keep the Spark Alive. So you can’t see each other in person as much as you’d like, but that doesn’t mean the flame of romance has to die down. Take time for sexy phone calls and fun photo exchanges, or take up the lost art of love letter writing. Just make sure that in the sad case where you do-- god forbid-- break up, you’re okay with the idea of naughty pictures or messages being left in the hands of someone whom you no longer wish to be around.
Don’t Be An Eeyore. Long-distance relationships are tough, but that doesn’t mean that yours is doomed from the outset. If you act like yours is, however, you’ll find that you have a self-fulfilling prophecy on your hands. Dwelling on the negative with constant comments of “This is so hard on me,” and “I just don’t know how I’m going to get through this,” will make your partner wonder why the two of you are doing this in the first place. There’s no need to put on a happy face if you’re genuinely feeling blue, but try to focus on being positive whenever you can. This will not only make you feel better, but it also shows him that you can be a positive influence in his life in many different types of situations.
Don’t Make Your Time Together Too Mushy. When you do finally get the chance to be together, it’s tempting to make things as romantic as possible in order to make up for lost time. But you’re just shooting yourself in the foot if you do this-- your relationship will suddenly become a string of mushy interactions as opposed to a normal relationship with all of its ups and downs. It’s okay to make your time together special, but throw in some normal stuff too to even things out.
Don’t Do This If You Have Trust Issues. If you can’t trust your man-- for good reason or just because you get paranoid-- trying to maintain a long distance relationship is going to be hellish. Iron-clad trust is an absolute must-have for this type of relationship, so if you don’t have that prerequisite, either work on it before one of you leaves or forget about the whole thing altogether.
Good advice, Especially the “Don’t make your time together too mushy.