As I date coach, I know online dating can be extremely overwhelming for a lot of my clients. I decided to devise a fool-proof online dating formula that is both efficient and fun, and dramatically increases your chances of having Mr. or Miss Right magically appear on your computer screen. Here’s how it works:
Say Cheese
Unless you are a professional photographer, make the investment to have your pictures done in a studio with an expert. Lighting can make or break all of us, so an in studio light controlled environment will make you look your best. Unfortunately when we date on-line first visual impression means a whole lot, so spend the money!
Stay In The Present
Oh, and speaking of pictures, please, oh please, take a present-day one! So much misrepresentation occurs online, especially with regards to appearance. I have no idea why online daters do this-- don’t they realize that in the very near future they are actually going to be meeting the person that they correspond with? When someone posts a picture that is 10 years old and they show up to a first date looking that much older, it is not a good thing.
Keep It Simple
When writing your online profile, please don’t write an online biography! Learn to speak in sound bites. Sound bites, for all of you non-media savvy people, are short sentences that quickly, effectively, and memorably summarize what you are trying to say. A long, drawn out profile will only make you look egotistical. Plus, it’s a great idea to save all of these special facts for a face to face meeting.
Lost In Translation
Don’t spend a lot of time using the instant messenger feature on these dating sites for deep meaningful conversation. A lot of online daters come down with a touch of what I like to call “Artificial Confidence.” This is when the user develops an overpowering sense of confidence, high self esteem and quick witted humor. This comes from the fact that it is a heck of a lot easier to be courageous, risqué and fun when you’re sitting behind your keyboard in the comfort of your own home. The big challenge is to see if your potential love interest can keep up his Don Juan rhetoric in person.
The Seven Day Rule
Here is the most important rule of all, Try to meet everyone you start corresponding online with within 7 days. A lot of people online who masquerade as love seekers are only online to get their ego’s stroked through cyber-flirting with no intention of sitting face to face with the person they are corresponding with. The “cyber-affair” is empty and ultimately a big waste of time.
Up Close And Personal
Arrange all of your online first face to face dates during the day at comfortable coffee shops that are close to your home. Plan to take a weekend and meet all of your love prospects on Saturday and Sunday afternoon of the same weekend. Schedule accordingly with 20 minute travel time between meeting places. Do not spend more than 45 minutes getting to know them. You will look like you have a life if you don’t sit there all afternoon. Meeting someone in person will give you a concrete idea of who you should pursue and who you should dismiss.
2 Comments
Boston, Boston, Boston...help us in Boston!
I think you are right on target, so is your show. I wish you would expand to Denver. I’d definitely be a client. Thanks for all of the helpful advice