Dear Matt-
How do you get a guy to approach you? They stare at me in bars and when I am out on the town, but hardly ever come up to me.
You have heard it before. Men are very visual creatures. If you looking to get a man to approach you than you must be aware of the fact that they look for visual cues from women. Here are some suggestions that will make you more approachable to a man.
1. Don’t look too "finished" or overdressed. Men may interpret this being too serious, uptight or worst of all "high maintenance."
2. Lose that sexy pout. Men interpret the "sexy scowl" as intimidating and egotistical. It’s hard enough for a guy to approach a completely strange woman let alone a completely strange woman that looks like she is permanently sniffing dirty socks. So SMILE, it’s easy!
3. Don’t pair off with one of the girls. If you are in a twosome with your girlfriend, it could make him feel like a third wheel. Men have a hard time approaching one women, more less two.
4. If you catch a guy staring at you, don’t just stare back… SMILE. A smile is often the cue men need to let them know that you are aware that he is interested and it’s okay.
5. When your dream guy eventually does approach you don’t be shy. Ask plenty of questions and have plenty of answers.
For more advice on this sometimes crazy and confusing world of dating, check out: AskMattandTamsen.com
Dear Matt,
I think my career as an attorney is difficult for men to deal with. Help!
Being a career woman in a high profile job might intimidate some men. Here’s how to avoid the insecure guy and locate the confident man of your dreams. Downplaying one of the most important parts of your life (your career) in order to avoid intimidating a man is like leaving this season’s hottest cocktail dress in the closet during the holiday party tour. There is only one way to walk down the runway of life, and that is with your best pedi forward and your latest couture blazin’! If you have to camouflage your career successes in order to match the stride of a potential love interest, then you’re running with the wrong guy! A quality man, who is secure with himself, will respect and admire a woman who is more powerful in the work force. In successful relationships, each partner has a chance to be the power-player. It is okay if you rule the boardroom, as long as you allow him to be CEO of the bedroom every now and then!
For more advice on this sometimes crazy and confusing world of dating, check out: AskMattandTamsen.com
Dear Matt,
I am embarrassed to talk about my current situation, but I need help. I caught my boyfriend and my best friend in bed together. I was shocked and so upset. Now, they are both asking for forgiveness. I just can’t do it. Am I wrong?
Run Forest… Run! Remember that movie? Well, get moving, and don’t look back! And don’t you dare blame yourself or feel sad. It is sooo their loss. Just be happy that you saw their true colors before you wasted anymore of your wonderful self on them. People like your ex-boyfriend and your ex-best friend deserve each other. They are driven by their impulses and will continue to make bad decisions all through life.
You can’t and shouldn’t forgive either of them; so focus immediately on yourself and all of the other wonderful things in your life, like genuine friends, family and career. While your heart is healing, we would like to recommend some remedies:
Do not be bitter towards anyone involved in the situation (other friends, your cheating ex or your former best friend). Indifference is always a sign of strength.
Completely ignore any attempts either party might have in trying to contact you. It won’t be easy, but it will be best long term.
Workout, make new friends and leave the dark past in the past. Focus on your bright future, and you will soon have new people in your life to replace those who do not deserve you.
For more advice on this sometimes crazy and confusing world of dating, check out: AskMattandTamsen.com
Dear Matt-
I slept with my boss. He is just a few years older than me and it happened one night after we all went out. But, now I feel sooo weird around the office and I have no idea what he is thinking? Should I say something to him about it? He has yet to bring it up.
Sleeping with the boss could almost be like sleeping with the enemy, find out how to make sure it doesn’t ruin your career.
It’s not the easiest of situations. You were out late, your boss was among the group and somehow you ended up in bed with him. Now, he won’t stop calling because he wants to hook up again. Is is a career ender? These troubled waters are always better left uncharted; but since you are already in the eye of the storm, we will try to throw you a couple of lifelines. Your body has gotten you into enough trouble, now you have to start using your mind.
That said, the “It” girl can put it all together; and believe us, she does! Use your imagination, and we’re not talking about contrived and boring 5-Star dinners or planned, stressful trips to the Caribbean Islands. Little sexy episodes spread throughout the week, are much easier and never forgotten.
For more advice on this sometimes crazy and confusing world of dating, check out: Why Hasn’t He Called?
1. Flattery in this case will get you everywhere. Tell him that you could easily fall for him, but you can’t possibly risk both of your jobs because you tend to go a little “love crazy”.
2. Scare him overboard and tell him that you are ready for a family, and you are thrilled that with him, you have the right guy (him), to start planning it.
3. Threaten mutiny and tell him that you feel like you have to tell a couple close co-workers your feelings because you’re confused and need a little clarity.
These suggestions might help your boss realize that he might not be ready to go down with the ship quite yet.
For more advice on this sometime crazy and confusing world of dating, check out: AskMattandTamsen.com
Are there particular clothes that drive men crazy? I have a great wardrobe for work, but my play clothes are a different story altogether.
In order to attract that amazing man of your dreams, it helps to dress in a way that tastefully showcases your beautiful body. As I always say, Men are Visual Creatures! He is going to be looking very closely and every inch of that body of yours! A high class man is very aware of what a woman puts into her wardrobe. He takes time to put thought into his, so should you. Remember the successful man in his 30’s and 40’s is looking for someone who dresses in a classic fashion. He is not someone who follows the latest “trends”. He is looking for a woman who knows how to dress herself in a tasteful and elegant manner. Nobody’s perfect! Each person needs to highlight a different part of their bodies. The secret is to focus on what you do have and to detract from what you don’t. Remember to only wear clothes that make the best of your unique shape. Too many women have embraced low-rise jeans and tank tops! This is not a good look for your late thirties and forties. Do not wear anything too provocative. Dressing provocatively often attracts the very guys a woman wants to avoid! Dress sexily but subtly. Your clothes should not say, "Take me home tonight!” Dress comfortably. When you feel comfortable, you look comfortable. When you feel comfortable, you feel confident, and confident, well dressed woman is sexy.
Selected Styles for Selected Shapes:
A-frame: Add weight to shoulders to create balance Horizontal necklines Shoulder pads a must Texture above waist Pattern above waist Light colors, pale greens and blues No loud detail below waist Smooth, simple pants and skirts Minimum texture below waist
Pear: Tops always relaxed and loose Vertical lines on top Match colors or tops and bottoms Avoid tucked in blouses One-color suits-darker browns and blues excellent color choices Avoid belts if possible
Hourglass: Simple waist emphasis Soft, gathered, eased Avoid anything too tight Soft prints/designs Avoid clingy/too tight tops Avoid loose, baggy tops Soft colors or basic black Shaped, one-piece dressing The main goal is to wear something that is classic, stylish and best suits both your body type and personality. You’ll be confident and ready to connect with Mr. REALLY RIGHT!
For more dating advice check out: AskMattandTamsen.com
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