Dear Matt,
Things are going along well in my current relationship, but I am worried about making a wrong move and losing the guy I am with. I am still not sure why my last boyfriend bolted and never gave me a good reason for our breakup. I am looking for the things that turn men off the fastest, so that I can avoid doing them!
This is not difficult, in fact, once you understand men, you won’t be able to get them away from you! Men think in terms of “snap shots.”
We function in the present, not the past and definitely not the future. In our romantic lives, we are generally not planners. We are driven by our desires without much thought to the repercussions of our actions. Here is the key, if women take control and do not let men have their immediate way (physical gratification = sleeping with us) it slows down our actions and forces us to think with our minds instead of anything else! Additionally, most men are hunters and an easy kill is of no interest to them, as they will soon move onto the next prey.
1. Be constantly available.
2. Consult or consider him before any decision.
3. Always talk about the future
For more advice on this sometime crazy and confusing world of dating, check out: Why Hasn’t He Called? This book will be out January 13, 2008. It in, my wife and I answer that age-old question, Why Hasn’t He Called? and provide all the answers you will ever need to navigate the crazy and confusing world of dating!
Dear Matt,
I am currently dating a younger man. He is 24 and I am 31. Do you think our relationship stands a chance?
If this guy has any brains, he has already realized that your age difference doesn’t mean anything. Girls his age are exactly that...GIRLS! Your age may actually be benefiting you in this situation. A 31-year old woman understands what she wants; undergoing her sexual prime; and possesses enough relationship experience to realize what it takes to be a great girlfriend. The most important thing to remember is to enjoy each other and not interupt the momentum of the relationship for the sake of labeling it. He may freak out once he hears you trying to categorize your interaction with him. Be careful, try not to come off as the ‘older woman’ needing clarity. This is just the thing that a 24-year old guy doesn’t want in his life.
For more advice on this sometime crazy and confusing world of dating, check out: Why Hasn’t He Called? This book will be out January 13, 2008. It in, my wife and I answer that age-old question, Why Hasn’t He Called? and provide all the answers you will ever need to navigate the crazy and confusing world of dating!
Dear Matt,
I am so in love with the guy I am dating. How can I bring up marriage? I want him to know how I feel? I think he may just need a push.
This might sound a little old fashioned but women should never bring up engagement or marriage. Men and women move at entirely different speeds when it comes to emotionally intimate issues like commitment, engagement and especially marriage. Your time table might not in anyway match his. If you reveal your time frame on such a serious commitment issue like marriage and it doesn’t match his, it could totally freak him out and he could interpret this as pressure or desperation. Men tend to live in the moment with women. When they start thinking about the future with their current girlfriend, they tend to feel trapped and will subconsciously withdraw. This is a birth defect. It’s just the way they were made. You have to control the situation so do not bring these issues up. Try to just enjoy the present...think like a guy and you will achieve your goal of marriage.
For more advice on this sometime crazy and confusing world of dating, check out: Why Hasn’t He Called? This book will be out January 13, 2008. It in, my wife and I answer that age-old question, Why Hasn’t He Called? and provide all the answers you will ever need to navigate the crazy and confusing world of dating!
Dear Matt,
I am in a long distance relationship with a guy in Pennsylvania. He lives in New York City. Is it possible to make it work?
He is the man you have been searching for, the only problem is he lives on the other coast. Here are a few tips to securing a man from a hundred miles away.
•Leverage this long distance situation. Remember, he is going to be just as concerned about how you spend your time during the week. Never ask him what he does or who he is with, let him ask you. He will.
•A long distance relationship is an automatic career/relationship balancer. Work hard during the week. You have absolutely no relationship pressure from Monday to Friday. Use this situation to excel at work. Saturday and Sunday play hard.
•He can play all week with his buddies, Monday Night Football, Thursday night happy hour. This allows him to get it all out of his system, and act like a true gent by the time the weekend comes.
•The five days in between the last time he was in your arms will only strengthen his craving for you! Absence really does make a man’s heart grow fonder!
For more advice on this sometime crazy and confusing world of dating, check out: Why Hasn’t He Called? This book will be out January 13, 2008. It in, my wife and I answer that age-old question, Why Hasn’t He Called? and provide all the answers you will ever need to navigate the crazy and confusing world of dating!
Dear Matt-
I am a queen of first dates, but the second one is always a bit of a problem. I am attractive, in my 30’s and have no children, ex-husbands or pets? I work out and love to cook. What am I doing wrong?
It’s not always easy to figure out if a guy is going to ask you out for a second date.
But, you should never, ever, ever ask him out or suggest that you get together again.
Yes, he asked you out.
Yes, you had a great time.
Yes, he will continue his aggressive chase. WRONG.
When the stakes become greater (he starts to like you), some men take it slower. Men hate to look desperate, vulnerable or sappy (some ridiculous male ego thing), so even if he is dying to ask you out for the following weekend he will most likely wait a few days.
Some ways to know whether to pencil him in or out:
1. Send him a thank-you email on Tuesday regarding the date. Casually mention that you had a great time and look forward to doing it again sometime. This gives him the opportunity to reply.
2. If he doesn’t respond, do not contact him via phone or text.
3. Every time you convince yourself he is not interested, re-read this article, and go to the gym without your Blackberry.
4. If you don’t hear from him before noon Thursday, make other plans.
For more advice on this sometime crazy and confusing world of dating, check out: Why Hasn’t He Called? This book will be out January 13, 2008. It in, my wife and I answer that age-old question, Why Hasn’t He Called? and provide all the answers you will ever need to navigate the crazy and confusing world of dating!
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