Dear Matt,
Help! My best friend is a doll and we love spending time together. But recently she has been getting on my nerves when she hangs around with my boyfriend and I. In fact, they get along so well that something I feel like they wouldn’t care if I were there or not. Should I confront her?
Feeling like a third wheel in your own relationship is never fun, but you are the only one who can do something about it.
Most likely, your boyfriend is just trying to give her attention so SHE doesn’t feel out of place.
• Make sure you don’t always hang out at the same location. If your best friend is always around then you might need a change of dating venue.
• You may also want to have a heart-to-heart with your gal pal explaining how you feel. There is no reason for you to end a friendship because of something she might not even be aware she is doing.
• Finally, have confidence in yourself. Don’t forget you are the one with a great guy!
Dear Matt,
My boyfriend and I are planning to move in together. We have been dating for about six months, do you think this step will bring us closer together or could it be worse for the relationship?
This is a big step in a relationship, and it’s not just about finding a great apartment and buying some cool items at Bed, Bath & Beyond to fix it up.
There are some items you should be sorting through to make sure you’re not boxing up your things six months down the road.
-First, he needs to know that YOU consider this a big step in the relationship. Do not let him think you are willing to just be his “roommate.”
For more advice on this sometime crazy and confusing world of dating, check out: Why Hasn’t He Called? This book will be out January 13, 2008. It in, my wife and I answer that age-old question, Why Hasn’t He Called? and provide all the answers you will ever need to navigate the crazy and confusing world of dating!
-Second, it is important to let him know where you stand; but you should not have to ask him where HE is in the relationship. If this man wants to spend his life with you, he needs to be sure HE is ready for this next “move.”
-Finally, make certain you are comfortable with his level of commitment, before you hire a U-Haul and sign any 2-year lease.
Dear Matt,
The guy I am dating keeps badgering me about how many men I’ve slept with. I am 26 years old and been with a few guys, but I don’t want to give him a specific number right now. When is the best time to do this?
If you are smart: NEVER! A lot of guys ask so they can find out how hard it will be to get you into bed. Others ask to size up what kind of girl you are. A guy who is truly interested in you for a long-term relationship will never allow your past to affect your future with him. He will not ask the question a million times, he will wait for you to tell him. As for the men who ask this question, try something like this: “I don’t kiss and tell and hope you don’t either.”
For More Sassy Advice Check Out: Why Hasn’t He Called? How Guys Really Think & How To Get The Right One Interested In You by Matt Titus & Tamsen Fadal
Dear Matt,
What does it mean to be “hot”? Does it go beyond looking attractive? I buy tons of beauty products and spend money on trendy clothes but I see “hot” women who aren’t even as pretty as I am and the guys are hanging all over them.
Absolutely. Having smokin’ good looks definitely makes you “hot”, but there are also little things that women do that drive guys crazy:
1. Men love to be with a woman who is driven by something other than the relationship.
2. Confidence is key. Men think it’s hot when a woman knows who she is, what she wants and where she is going.
3. Being low-maintenance is definitely hot. No makeup. No fussing in the mirror. No two hours to get ready for a trip to the grocery store.
4. Showing interest in something he likes such as the basketball game, a cool gadget or his Monday night softball game. He knows you couldn’t care less about his new iPhone, but the fact that you’re making the effort is very hot.
5. Not always taking charge. Let him make the plans and surprise you. Guys like to be the guy every once in awhile-- it makes them feel manly to know that they can provide for their hot girl.
For More Advice Check Out: Why Hasn’t He Called? How Guys Really Think & How To Get The Right One Interested In You by Matt Titus & Tamsen Fadal
Dear Matt,
I recently ended a relationship with my boyfriend of 2 years. I don’t regret that decision, but every time I meet someone new, I can’t help comparing him to the guy I just broke up with. What should I do?
Congratulations on your decision to move on-- you should never settle or compromise when it comes to finding a life partner. But every time you compare a potential Mr. Right to Mr. Ex, you are subconsciously putting up a barrier that will keep you alone and in the past. Time will heal these wounds, but in the meantime, try to accept everyone you meet as an individual in their own right and not some version of the guy you just broke up with. If you still find yourself playing the comparing game several months down the line, it may be a sign that you’re not ready to put yourself back in the game just yet.
For more advice on this sometimes crazy and confusing world of dating, check out: Why Hasn’t He Called?
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