Dear Matt,
I love my mother dearly, but she’s always asking me when I’m going to get married. I’m in my early 30’s, but I’m not dating anyone right now and don’t want to feel pressured to settle down. What should I do?
Ah, mothers, they always have our best interests at heart . . . right? If only you could answer her constant questions about your self-imposed singledom with a hearty, “IT’S MY LIFE…BUTT OUT MOM!” Of course you can’t say that to dear old mom, but it is important to let her know that you are doing fine just the way you are. You might want to consider saying something along the lines of:
“I’m taking the time to find the right person.”
For more advice on this sometime crazy and confusing world of dating, check out: Why Hasn’t He Called? This book will be out January 13, 2008. It in, my wife and I answer that age-old question, Why Hasn’t He Called? and provide all the answers you will ever need to navigate the crazy and confusing world of dating!
“I’ve kept my heart from being broken several times and might have saved myself from at least one divorce.”
“I would rather be happy and alone than unhappy and lonely with another person.”
Let her know that you love and respect her, but right now you need her to support your decisions even if she doesn’t agree with them.
For more advice on this sometimes crazy and confusing world of dating, check out: Why Hasn’t He Called?
Dear Matt,
I think the guy I am seeing is still hung up on his ex-girlfriend. He says they are just friends and that she is going through a bad time, but I am convinced there is something more than that going on. Help!
Don’t wonder any longer. I have a few signs that may help you figure out whether or not his ex has ex-ited his life (in a romantic sense) for good.
1. He mentions her often, but tries to make it seem like a natural part of a story or conversation. It’s almost as if she is looming somewhere in the back of his mind and he subconsciously brings her up as much as possible.
2. He answers her calls and texts regularly. This is not a good sign. Usually people who are broken up do not correspond so there might still be something there.
3. He helps her with small “boyfriend-like” tasks. Most guys dread home improvement jobs with their current girlfriends, let alone an ex. If he is more than willing to still be her handyman, he is not the man for you.
For more advice on this sometimes crazy and confusing world of dating, check out: Why Hasn’t He Called?
Dear Matt,
Everywhere I look there are couples. I am so sick of seeing people in love and I hate myself for hating them! Help! I am single and sick of it.
The first thing you need to realize is that everyone of those people you see, was once in the same situation you are in, and it’s really not so bad. Being single can be a blast, and you must embrace this stage in your life. If you don’t, you may miss the time you had to yourself. Here are some things to do during your singledom that will pass the time and perhaps prepare you to meet the right person, instead of just anyone.
•Just because you don’t have someone attached to your hip, doesn’t mean you can’t go out.
•Be happy and realize a relationship takes a lot of responsibility and time.
•Right now, you are free to do anything, with anyone, at anytime…remember that’s not a bad deal.
•Work on yourself inside and out. Guys are visual, so give they some eye candy… work that body girl!
•As for the inside, reaffirm who you are and where you want to be in your life by making a five-year plan. You must know who you are before you can understand what you want in someone else.
•Observe couples closely and don’t get jealous! Become a student of relationships so you can identify what you want in your next relationship.
For more advice on this sometimes crazy and confusing world of dating, check out: Why Hasn’t He Called?
Dear Matt-
My boyfriend of 3 months is becoming clingy. I need some alone time already! Help!
Your boyfriend is turning into your “Gal Pal,” and if you don’t do something fast, you are going to be forced to take him to the very next “girl’s night out.” There are a few reasons guys develop the “Gal Pal” syndrome.
1. He may truly enjoy every moment spent basking in your glow.
2. He may like shopping malls and spas (though I really have met very few men who fall into this category).
3. He may be very jealous and not trust you just yet.
Whatever the case, some suggestions to wean him off of your girl’s night outing.
1. It’s still a bit soon to be giving him your hourly schedule. Do what you need to do and then call him to let him know you have time.
2. Let him know that spending too much time together isn’t good for you. Yes, it may be harsh…but better now than later.
3. If it’s a night you have plans, tell him you just want to get all pretty for him or get some things done, and then remind him you will be seeing him later (giving him something to look forward too).
For more advice on this sometimes crazy and confusing world of dating, check out: Why Hasn’t He Called?
Dear Matt-
There is a cute guy in my building that I seem to run into all the time. He smiles at me, but it never progresses beyond that. Any way to wake up my neighbor?
If you want to be your own cupid, here are a few power moves that might wake up his romantic soul.
Be aggressive. What do you have to lose? Stop him and look him right in the eyes and introduce yourself. This will give him the opportunity to get your number. If he is timid and doesn’t ask for your digits, his loss.
Leave a note. The doorman can be your best friend, leave a note with him that says you both seem to be so busy, but you wanted to formally introduce yourself, then leave your phone number and leave the ball in his court.
Have a group of friends over from your building. This way you can casually invite him and a buddy for your “little get together.” This is very informal and non committal, just the kind of invitation he will respond to.
For more advice on this sometimes crazy and confusing world of dating, check out: Why Hasn’t He Called?
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