This is when you have to start thinking like a guy. Men compartmentalize, which means they categorize what each relationship is about, as well as how much emotion, time, and effort they put into it. There is no reading into anything; men take each relationship at the face value they have assigned it. Men do this because their actions and thoughts are usually not driven by emotion.
Here is how to make having sex with your “ex,” a healthy experience:
1. You don’t have to play hard to get. You are both past that, and you are there for one purpose and one purpose only. Just get to it.
2. Think of each sexual experience with your “ex” as a “get into bed free pass.” You both know the depth of this non-relationship: no expectations, just great sex.
3. When the romp is over, it’s over until the next time your paths cross again. Actually, it’s exciting because you never know when it’s going to happen again.
4. Finally, if you decide to have sex with your “ex,” make sure you can do this without being emotionally attached. If it becomes more confusing than comfortable, then it’s time to say goodbye for good.
For more advice on this sometimes crazy and confusing world of dating, check out: Why Hasn’t He Called?
Dear Matt-
I have a pretty active dating life, but it’s getting hard to juggle my calendar! Any advice on how to make sure I don’t double book and can squeeze everyone in.
So many men, so little time? What a great problem to have! The answer, is to compartmentalize and prioritize. Here’s some Sassy Tips on how to enjoy several men at once:
It’s Just Gonna Be Lunch
You don’t know him that well, but you are intrigued by him and are attracted to him. He is inconsequential, but for some reason you are strangely interested. This guy should be your coffee and/or lunch date. Get to know him before you give him one of your nights.
TFS
You are incredibly attracted to him. He’s hot and sexy, but is incapable of any long term commitment, plus he’s dumb. The less you have to talk to him the better. Enjoy him on Thursday, Friday or Saturday nights. Those are the nights When Girls Just Wanna Have Fun.
Sunday Brunch Man
This guy is leading the pack! He has it together, and you could fall for him in a second, but you are moving slowly and evaluating his every move. You will want a lot of face time with this guy, so he is your Sunday Brunch Man. Sundays are personal, intimate days. Whomever you share that day with, may eventually be the one you share all the others with too.
For more advice on this sometimes crazy and confusing world of dating, check out: Why Hasn’t He Called?
Dear Matt-
How do you get a guy to approach you? They stare at me in bars and when I am out on the town, but hardly ever come up to me.
You have heard it before. Men are very visual creatures. If you looking to get a man to approach you than you must be aware of the fact that they look for visual cues from women. Here are some suggestions that will make you more approachable to a man.
1. Don’t look too "finished" or overdressed. Men may interpret this being too serious, uptight or worst of all "high maintenance."
2. Lose that sexy pout. Men interpret the "sexy scowl" as intimidating and egotistical. It’s hard enough for a guy to approach a completely strange woman let alone a completely strange woman that looks like she is permanently sniffing dirty socks. So SMILE, it’s easy!
3. Don’t pair off with one of the girls. If you are in a twosome with your girlfriend, it could make him feel like a third wheel. Men have a hard time approaching one women, more less two.
4. If you catch a guy staring at you, don’t just stare back… SMILE. A smile is often the cue men need to let them know that you are aware that he is interested and it’s okay.
5. When your dream guy eventually does approach you don’t be shy. Ask plenty of questions and have plenty of answers.
For more advice on this sometimes crazy and confusing world of dating, check out: Why Hasn’t He Called?
Dear Matt,
I think my career as an attorney is difficult for men to deal with. Help!
Being a career woman in a high profile job might intimidate some men. Here’s how to avoid the insecure guy and locate the confident man of your dreams. Downplaying one of the most important parts of your life (your career) in order to avoid intimidating a man is like leaving this season’s hottest cocktail dress in the closet during the holiday party tour. There is only one way to walk down the runway of life, and that is with your best pedi forward and your latest couture blazin’! If you have to camouflage your career successes in order to match the stride of a potential love interest, then you’re running with the wrong guy! A quality man, who is secure with himself, will respect and admire a woman who is more powerful in the work force. In successful relationships, each partner has a chance to be the power-player. It is okay if you rule the boardroom, as long as you allow him to be CEO of the bedroom every now and then!
For more advice on this sometimes crazy and confusing world of dating, check out: Why Hasn’t He Called?
Dear Matt-
I slept with my boss. He is just a few years older than me and it happened one night after we all went out. But, now I feel sooo weird around the office and I have no idea what he is thinking? Should I say something to him about it? He has yet to bring it up.
Sleeping with the boss could almost be like sleeping with the enemy, find out how to make sure it doesn’t ruin your career.
It’s not the easiest of situations. You were out late, your boss was among the group and somehow you ended up in bed with him. Now, he won’t stop calling because he wants to hook up again. Is is a career ender? These troubled waters are always better left uncharted; but since you are already in the eye of the storm, we will try to throw you a couple of lifelines. Your body has gotten you into enough trouble, now you have to start using your mind.
That said, the “It” girl can put it all together; and believe us, she does! Use your imagination, and we’re not talking about contrived and boring 5-Star dinners or planned, stressful trips to the Caribbean Islands. Little sexy episodes spread throughout the week, are much easier and never forgotten.
For more advice on this sometimes crazy and confusing world of dating, check out: Why Hasn’t He Called?
1. Flattery in this case will get you everywhere. Tell him that you could easily fall for him, but you can’t possibly risk both of your jobs because you tend to go a little “love crazy”.
2. Scare him overboard and tell him that you are ready for a family, and you are thrilled that with him, you have the right guy (him), to start planning it.
3. Threaten mutiny and tell him that you feel like you have to tell a couple close co-workers your feelings because you’re confused and need a little clarity.
These suggestions might help your boss realize that he might not be ready to go down with the ship quite yet.
For more advice on this sometime crazy and confusing world of dating, check out: Why Hasn’t He Called? This book will be out January 13, 2008. It in, my wife and I answer that age-old question, Why Hasn’t He Called? and provide all the answers you will ever need to navigate the crazy and confusing world of dating!
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