Daily News
BY ELOISE PARKER
Thursday, November 29th 2007, 4:00 AM
In a new relationship, how much you spend on holiday gifts says more than you might think.
Question: You’ve been dating a guy for six months; for Christmas, do you get him a) a Gap scarf, b) a Prada suit, c) a pack of gum, or d) a speech about how you didn’t know if he’d get you a gift and you didn’t want to freak him out by getting him something too nice, so you didn’t get him anything? Dating someone new in the runup to the holiday season throws up the age-old dilemma, when is it too soon to give a gift?
“There’s no set rule,” says Lucky magazine senior editor and shopping expert Emily Hsieh. “A gift is always a nice touch.”
Just don’t expect guys to be quite so forthcoming in the early days.
“After 15 dates or around two months, I think a gift is in line,” argues Matt Titus, New York dating expert and founder of relationship advice Web site sassybean.com.
If you do decide to treat a new beau, how much you spend says more than you might think.
“Any gift that costs more than $100 can scare a guy off in the first three months of a relationship. It’s a red flag. It screams that the woman wants immediate commitment,” explains Titus. “Men don’t generally spend a lot of money on women in the first three months. It has to be equal.”
Hsieh agrees that splurging up-front is ill-advised.
“You might be suspicious of someone who spends a huge amount early on,” she warns.
And, though you can expect to spend more money on a long-term partner, it’s important not to lose sight of why you’re buying a gift in the first place.
“Giving a gift is supposed to be something that comes from the heart,” reasons Titus. “Not something that’s based on expectations or peer pressure.”
Both Titus and Hsieh agree that a great gift is something heartfelt with a personal touch.
“In the early days of a relationship, sports tickets, useful gadgets or even his favorite film on DVD will work,” says Titus.
The better you know someone, the more adventurous you can get.
“Experiential gifts are popular,” says Hsieh, who recommends http://www.cloudnineliving.com for everything from DJ-ing tutorials to Formula 1 driving lessons.
“It can be a fun thing to get your partner something based on what their fantasy is.” But keep the raunch factor to a minimum, Hsieh warns.
“Any type of blatant sexual gift is bad,” grimaces Titus. “In the beginning, it’s presumptuous. If you’ve been together a long time, it’s just physical and lacks emotion.”
But the biggest turnoff for a guy? “Please, no ties,” pleads Titus. “That will annoy a man more than anything.”
GIFTS THAT WON’T SCARE HIM OFF
UNDER 2 MONTHS: This Mossimo Supply Co. canvas and leather messenger bag (above), $29.99 from Target, says, “I like you, I don’t love you yet.”
3-5 MONTHS: Even if you’re crazy about him, spending a fortune might freak him out. But this $39 green hologram display watch from Fossil.com (above) says you’re ready to make time for him.
6 MONTHS: Ready to step it up a notch? This shaving set from L’Occitane (above, $100) is a sexy way to make him feel like a man ... your man.
7-11 MONTHS: Ditch the sappy mix tape and tell him you love him with this vinyl archiver (above., $129, from Fredflare.com), which converts LPs to MP3s.
OVER A YEAR: Lock in his love with a gift that will blow his mind. At SignatureDays.com, you can take him on a private helicopter ride around the city for $69 to $186.
NY Daily News
